In life, it is very rare to live smoothly without negativity. It is almost impossible to keep away from toxic people and negativity, be it in relationships, families, and even friends. If we are unable to deal with the challenges these people throw at us, we won’t enjoy life.
There are several ways that can help you remain positive in case you have such negative people around you. They include:
1. Not taking everything that is said to heart.
No matter where you go, you will encounter difficult and negative people whose words and/or behaviour will activate your hotspots and get on your nerves. However, the likelihood is they’re not out to get you! You might find that they are going through something and are totally oblivious to the effect their behaviour or words are having on you. The best you can do is not to take everything they say or do personally just tell yourself it’s their emotional stuff and then forget it and get on with living your life.
2. Remember the positive things that are in your life and be grateful for them.
No matter how tough or impossible a situation may seem, at the end of the day, not everything is bad. Some good things are actually happening, and you can be grateful for them. If possible, make a gratitude list. Don’t return negative energy with negative energy look for the positive. There is so much more to life than the immediate surroundings that we face.
Being thankful for what you have will even help to ease the tension and pressure that comes with negativity. Why not try that?
3. Take the negativity as a stepping stone towards your self-discovery and growth.
A simple change of mindset can solve every problem that you face. It goes a long way in transforming our attitudes. If you change your perception of the negatives that come with toxic people, you are halfway into leading a comfortable life.
It’s also worth asking yourself is it them or is it me? Maybe it’s an unresolved issue from your past that is causing your reaction to the current behaviour.
You can even try and empathise with the person and ask yourself, “what might be happening to them that leads them to behave in such a manner?”. You might not just solve your problem; you can end up being of help to them. Who doesn’t like a win-win situation?
4. Always keep in mind that people have different lives and unique journeys.
Remind yourself that we are here to correlate and learn different lessons in this life. Take the person that is bringing the negative energy as a lesson too. They might be in your life for a reason.
Also, your life is different and unique from that other person’s life. What you might refer to as unfavourable might turn out to be what they rate as positive on their side. In understanding this, you will be able to embrace the differences and appreciate the diversity that comes with it.
5. Spend some alone time.
Here is where hobbies can help a great deal. You can use the time that you spend away from the negative people to do something that you like to recharge your emotional batteries. You can take walks, read, play video games, engage in sporting activities, or meditate. This is helpful for the general life psyche and change in our attitudes. Being alone and indulging in your thoughts is also good to your health.
This can also be the time you use to engage with yourself, know what works for you, and ensure that you are enjoying every minute you have. Even if you were angry at the person, time out could be the right moment for you to think about it and shift your thinking and judgement.
6. Defend yourself and speak up when necessary.
Unfortunately, some people aren’t as nice as the rest of us! You do not just have to sit back and absorb all that they throw at you. Sometimes it is okay for you to speak up for yourself. You can stand tall and tell them on to their faces that they are out of line. However, this should not be overdone. Be quick to listen and slow to answer.
If you point out what you do not like about their words or behaviour, they will realise that you are not happy with the situation.
7. Be an agent of positivity.
Identify what is bringing up the negativity and then change it.
Let’s say, for example, the negativity is coming through certain conversations; Change the topic. Do it in a way so you don’t ignore what they were saying, but at the same time, you don’t have to continue to talk about something which makes you feel uncomfortable.
8. Gauge your emotional response.
Are you overreacting to what has been said or done? If possible, take yourself away from the situation and/or person in question and when you are calm think over what was said or done and try and workout what caused you to react in the way you did. Think of other things you could have said or done and what the likely outcomes would have been. Resolve to change your reaction if a similar situation comes up in the future.
9. Cut the negative people off.
Negative people can sometimes be extreme and become unbearable. At this point you may choose to exclude them from your life.
It can be fairly straightforward if they are just an acquaintance or someone you know only slightly and rarely see. It becomes more challenging if the person is a work colleague, friend or family member.
Think carefully before you decide to take this option. Ask yourself what good things does this person bring to your life, what history do you have? If your relationship used to be good, what changed it? Have you really exhausted every possibility to get the relationship back on track?
It maybe it is impossible to eliminate this person from your life, maybe you have to work with them or they are close to other people in your life. If this is the case then try and work out how to minimise contact with them so you limit the influence they have in your life.
It’s important to remember that these people are not bad people, neither are you a bad person for not wanting them in your life. You’re just not compatible, and that’s okay 😊
Love and Hugs